Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:?
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg...?
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life..'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it..
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree..
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
I happen to know how is my family current situation. I would've never imagine that this situation would come to my family. I was like, stunned there when I actually heard about this. This house, the shelter I've been staying for 11 years, is still on debt and might be taken away? Seriously, what are you guys doing so far? Little did I know about this till she told me. If you can't even afford it, why did you buy it? And now everyday, you complain to me this and that. Give me a break will ya?
Still remember when you came out of KLIA, talking with everyone about it. "I had my fingerprints taken at the airport. I doubt I can get back there again.", "I had my photo taken", "The green lane was free, of course I run out la. Stay there let them catch?". You seems proud speaking it out loud, the people were enjoying listening to your stories. But I was there, at another corner, ashamed. Is it so proud, staying overseas illegally? That's a bit funny for me. I'd rather hear, "Oh the guard ah, I always tipped him when I go on a trip. So the people in the airport recognize me la." Ya it sounds weird and funny, but which one would you prefer? You're well known because you travel a lot, or you're wanted because you stayed overseas without a valid Visa?
And you. Until now, I still cannot accept the fact, that the money was gone in this way. She said it right. If it were for your children (me and siblings), then it's ok to help you. But for THAT FUCKING REASON? Where are your responsibilities towards the family? Have you really contributed to the family? She told me about your past. Aren't you afraid of experiencing the same thing? Aren't you afraid of the dark after meeting a ghost? Seriously, I could've live better now, if it were not because of you. I could've hear less, of arguements at home, or matters involving MONEY. If it weren't for myself, if it were other people with average thoughts, they would've suffer with you. I'm lucky enough to have this brain, which more or less helped me survived through these few years. I don't know how I got through it, but sometimes seeing you guys just make me sick. I don't know how you guys are still so carefree, with all the problems on hand. Are you going to wait till the last minute? Wait till they come and confiscate your properties? Then what should your 9 y/o daughters do? Stay with the babysitters forever? Become their daughter? It feels like you're selling them. What different are you from those pure losers? I despise you.
If it weren't for you guys. I won't be blogging about this. Also part of the reason I don't like staying at home. You guys never realize it? I'd rather stay outside with my friends till morning rather than coming back. I'd stay inside my room facing the laptop rather than seeing you guys. Seeing you guys makes me wanna puke. I'm not being rude, just telling the fact. If you happen to see this, please FUCKING reflect on yourselves. Why can't I have a normal family like others do? Why is our relationship so bad?
I don't deserve all these shits man. I'm undergoing some abnormal teenage. I'm feeling it.
M,
time will heal all wounds, I hope it will heal you soon.
Hestitating about matters regarding you. I might misunderstand it, but I really hope things would work out. It's a new thing. For me and you.
Still remember when you came out of KLIA, talking with everyone about it. "I had my fingerprints taken at the airport. I doubt I can get back there again.", "I had my photo taken", "The green lane was free, of course I run out la. Stay there let them catch?". You seems proud speaking it out loud, the people were enjoying listening to your stories. But I was there, at another corner, ashamed. Is it so proud, staying overseas illegally? That's a bit funny for me. I'd rather hear, "Oh the guard ah, I always tipped him when I go on a trip. So the people in the airport recognize me la." Ya it sounds weird and funny, but which one would you prefer? You're well known because you travel a lot, or you're wanted because you stayed overseas without a valid Visa?
And you. Until now, I still cannot accept the fact, that the money was gone in this way. She said it right. If it were for your children (me and siblings), then it's ok to help you. But for THAT FUCKING REASON? Where are your responsibilities towards the family? Have you really contributed to the family? She told me about your past. Aren't you afraid of experiencing the same thing? Aren't you afraid of the dark after meeting a ghost? Seriously, I could've live better now, if it were not because of you. I could've hear less, of arguements at home, or matters involving MONEY. If it weren't for myself, if it were other people with average thoughts, they would've suffer with you. I'm lucky enough to have this brain, which more or less helped me survived through these few years. I don't know how I got through it, but sometimes seeing you guys just make me sick. I don't know how you guys are still so carefree, with all the problems on hand. Are you going to wait till the last minute? Wait till they come and confiscate your properties? Then what should your 9 y/o daughters do? Stay with the babysitters forever? Become their daughter? It feels like you're selling them. What different are you from those pure losers? I despise you.
If it weren't for you guys. I won't be blogging about this. Also part of the reason I don't like staying at home. You guys never realize it? I'd rather stay outside with my friends till morning rather than coming back. I'd stay inside my room facing the laptop rather than seeing you guys. Seeing you guys makes me wanna puke. I'm not being rude, just telling the fact. If you happen to see this, please FUCKING reflect on yourselves. Why can't I have a normal family like others do? Why is our relationship so bad?
I don't deserve all these shits man. I'm undergoing some abnormal teenage. I'm feeling it.
--------------------------------
M,
time will heal all wounds, I hope it will heal you soon.
--------------------------------
Hestitating about matters regarding you. I might misunderstand it, but I really hope things would work out. It's a new thing. For me and you.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
______________________________________________
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
______________________________________________
In Malaysia, the average family income is RM3,000 /month
(where father works, mother doesn't).
I understand there are many families whose
monthly income does not reach RM3,000,
but, to make things simple,
let's take RM3,000 as the figure. Ok lah, right? Okay, let's start rolling
with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son. Ngam-ngam ....
Calculation starts...
Electricity and water bill: RM100
(No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater ... ok?)
Phone bill ( Telekom): RM100
Meals for a happy family: RM775
(3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons...?)
Papa makan / teh-tarik during working hrs: RM155
(RM5/day, RM5 ... can eat what?)
Car repayment: RM400
(A proton saga aeroback, 7 yrs repayment)
Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300
(go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running)
Insurance: RM650
(kids, wife and myself)
House repayment: RM750
(low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!)
Tuition: RM80
(got that cheap meh? i don't think so)
Older children pocket money @ school: RM20
(RM1/day, eat bread?)
Schoolfees: RM30
(enough ah?)
School books and etc: RM100
(always got extra to pay in school)
Younger children milk powder: RM50
(cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive)
Miscellaneous: RM100
(shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper)
Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so...
No Astro,
no movie @ cinema,
no DVD,
no CD
no online
cannot KFC,
cannot McDonald,
cannot go Park walk during weekend (petrol expensive),
no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and etc...
Let's use a calculator to total up..
WALAO EH! Shit! RM3,610 already...EPF belum potong, income tax
lagi........oledi RM3,610 ...
Hw to survive lah tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian ???
Our Deputy Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle? How to change?
Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study?
Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of
rakyat Malaysia which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!!
What is this? Inilah Malaysia Boleh... Sorry... it shouldbe Malaysians
Boleh , because we're still alive and kicking!! Our politicians must be
mad!!!! Please forward andcomment boleh or tak boleh. No wonder so many Ah
Loong around..
Calvin went to John's house for dinner.
John was talking to his wife:" Sweetie, can you please get the drinks out?"
Calvin then tell John:" Hey man, you both are sure lovely. It's been 15years since you're married and you still address her as Sweetie ! I wish I could do that."
John then whisper at Calvin's ears:" Well, I actually forgotten her name for many years."
=.=
John was talking to his wife:" Sweetie, can you please get the drinks out?"
Calvin then tell John:" Hey man, you both are sure lovely. It's been 15years since you're married and you still address her as Sweetie ! I wish I could do that."
John then whisper at Calvin's ears:" Well, I actually forgotten her name for many years."
=.=
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.
===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
=========================================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'. He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
===============================================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot
==================================================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
===================================================
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
=====================================================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning?
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM
Have a good day!
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.
===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
=========================================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'. He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
===============================================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot
==================================================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
===================================================
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
=====================================================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning?
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM
Have a good day!
*A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
*Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
###
*A little girl walks into her parents bedroom.
"HOLY F**K!!" she screams, "and you want me to see a doctor about sucking my thumb.......
###
A boy in Clemson University was in his dorm taking a shower after just recently graduating. when he got out he heard some talking and movement outside the bathroom. thinking it was his room mates he quickly grabbed his dick ran out and shouted: "BAM! BAM! BAM! Your all dead!!!" standing there was his one of his professors, his parents,his girlfriend and his ten year old sister
Before marriage.
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..
Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you. "
Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!
Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. .
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!!
Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves. "
Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"
Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you
Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la
Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak
Is this really true? Don't worry baby. Before marriage you want to go Shangri-La, you wait la ! xD
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..
Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you. "
Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!
Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. .
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!!
Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves. "
Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"
Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you
Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la
Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak
Is this really true? Don't worry baby. Before marriage you want to go Shangri-La, you wait la ! xD
It's not the fault of student if he/she fails because the year ONLY has 365 days...Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days. Days left 81.
7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days. Days left 6.
9. For sickness - at least 3 days. Days left 3.
10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!
Balance = 0
How can a student pass ?????
Copied from: http://carsonne.blogspot.com/
Nice maths works~
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 + 10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
Pls share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did..
Have a nice day & God bless!!
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 + 10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
Pls share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did..
Have a nice day & God bless!!
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
####
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
####
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
####
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
####
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
####
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
####
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
####
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
####
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
####
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
####
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
####
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
####
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
####
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
####
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
####
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
####
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
####
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
####
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
####
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
####
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
####
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
####
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
####
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
####
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
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